Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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