do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
