please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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