i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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