Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
