At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
