just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
