I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
