I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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