You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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