I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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