Having a random hookup so left but love u
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
