brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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