I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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