i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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