You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I skipped work to stalk him.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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