If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
