im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
