so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
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