If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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