shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
50% drunk capacity currently
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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