Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
