I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
