I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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