So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
