Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
