fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
no, he came in my armpit
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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