guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
