We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
