She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
