How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
