she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
