Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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