About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
