yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
