haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
