this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
