I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
