just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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