So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
