Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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