I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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