problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
