If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
