don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
