when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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