I am puke
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
