i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
