That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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