YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
50% drunk capacity currently
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
